Dt.28th Jan 2014
A strange feeling entered my mind lately for some reason. It's hard to explain, it's complicated and never saw it coming. I kinda hate this "feeling" but I don't want it to be over. I never thought I would have this kind of feeling but somehow it's true. There's nothing I can do to stop it, which I by the way tried so many times.
This Overwhelming Enthusiastic Feeling, which I called OEF and sounded like 'OOF' is getting stronger and stronger and seems like there's no ending at all. I kept reminding myself that it's getting over soon. And never I let my guard down because I know that the Universe sure knows how to deal with people like me.
Alright, Alright, You may wonder and have no clue what am babbling about. haha.. Blame you not, coz the things I just said doesn't make any sense. Although it may make sense to someone.. But whatever, All I'm trying to say is that I met two new girls in my life, both are smart, intelligent and well respected. But they have completely different effect in my life.
One of them is like, a hungry lioness in her den waiting for it's prey who doesn't care anything about others and doesnot give a rat's ass about others but I somehow need her and feels at home in her presence. Never met her before but became a part of my life whether I like it or not. I never utter a word in her presence unless it's really necessary. My soul sometimes went like, " why are you here? I mean why? why? why?".
And the other one is completely the opposite. She's the best thing that ever happened in my life. My soul went like, "Where Have you Been?? I've been looking all over for You". Somehow she changes everything about me. (Now I hope the first two para kinda make a lil sense). I kept thinking of her...like .. all the time. Can't get her out of my mind. I don't care if it's gonna last for a week, a day or an hour, everything seems to be completed when I'm with her.
But in this complicated world, complications emerged out of nowhere. To be honest I don't even want to talk about it. I finally like a girl enough to be my wife and every thing's going backward. I hate the stupid society we live in, why are we making things so complicated.. Why can't we just live as one? I hate this denomination's feeling. I don't want to yell about it. It's just that, the denomination does not allow us to be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Any-who, I may never marry the girl that I really liked. I do not have any reason to be angry with God though. I know HE can make everything okay, maybe HE wanted to teach me something. I can't live without HIM even for a single sec. So I'm still glad that HE gave me this little moment of happiness. And yeah by the way I hope my Boss doesn't understand that I was talking about her as the first girl.. lol.
Peace
Xauz
