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That fateful Night..Destined to meet or Love

"Back off, back off!" one of my friends screamed, and a sudden hush fell over the room as the power supply abruptly vanished. I watched as my computer screen displayed the dreaded word "disconnected." Since the backup battery on my UPS was far from reliable, I had no choice but to turn off my computer. Such is the nature of our Dota 2 sessions—filled with screams, laughter, shouts, and the occasional curse. 😊 Glancing at my watch, I noted that it was a quarter past five in the evening. Grabbing my phone, I checked for missed calls and messages, aware that it had been ringing several times during our gaming session. True enough, I discovered a missed call from an unknown number. Curiosity piqued, I used Truecaller to identify the caller, only to find a name that meant nothing to me.

As I placed my phone back on the table, a memory from a couple of nights ago suddenly resurfaced. It had been quite an eventful evening, to say the least. Let me start from the beginning: I reluctantly attended a party that a friend had been inviting me to for quite some time. The gathering was actually a formal pre-wedding party. Now, I must admit that parties aren't really my thing, and I hardly knew anyone in attendance. In fact, my acquaintance with the person who invited me was mostly limited to our Dota 2 sessions. We had spent countless hours playing and screaming together, but we had only met face-to-face a couple of times. Despite my reservations, I thought, "What the hell," and dressed up for the occasion.

Upon arriving at the venue, I was greeted by a bustling crowd and security guards in uniform managing a guest list. I stepped forward and asked them to check if my name was on the list. To my embarrassment, they couldn't find it. But then, an idea struck me, and I requested that they search for my Dota 2 nickname. Surprisingly, that's when they recognized me—the person who had invited me didn't even know my real name.

I entered the party, the music blaring and people dancing on the floor. I scanned the room, searching for my friend, but he was nowhere to be found. Feeling out of place, I retreated to a corner. The strange thing was that I didn't recognize a single face in the crowd. Now, don't get me wrong—I know a lot of people in this city. So, if I say it was weird, trust me, it was weird. As I pondered this, a thought crossed my mind: "I'm getting old." Spotting a mini bar nearby, I approached it not to grab a drink but to inquire about my friend's whereabouts. Unfortunately, the responses I received were vague: he was here, he was there—I couldn't get a clear answer. Disappointed, I stood in the corner, leaning against the wall with my phone in hand. I attempted to make a call, but the reception was abysmal. Frustrated, I came up with the brilliant idea of taking a few photos to prove I had been there and then promptly leaving that godforsaken place. Just as I was setting up my phone for a secret selfie, something caught my eye.

I caught sight of a mesmerizing figure, yet strangely, no one else seemed to notice her presence. She was truly captivating, adorned in a garment that exuded elegance reminiscent of renowned designers like Alexander McQueen and Calvin Klein. Her eyes gleamed with an indescribable radiance, a sight that left me in awe. I recalled the old saying to avoid direct eye contact with mysterious beings, but I couldn't resist gazing into her enchanting eyes. In that moment, her beguiling smile transported me to an ethereal realm, like ascending through heavenly layers, although I can't claim to know the exact composition of heaven. Lost in her presence, I found myself unable to utter a word, grateful that my jaw didn't betray my awe. "Bride's or groom's?" she inquired, prompting me to check behind me to ensure she was addressing me and not someone else. Indeed, she was speaking to me. With a stuttering voice, I managed to reply, "Gr-groom's." We engaged in conversation, and I shared the story of how I ended up at the party. When I mentioned that I knew my friend through Dota2, she laughed, quoting the familiar phrase, "boys never grow up."

Given the deafening music, I asked her, "Do you dance?" She shook her head and responded, "I don't really dance or attend parties. When I saw you, you didn't seem to be enjoying yourself either, which is why I approached you." It was true; everyone else was immersed in dancing or singing, clutching glasses in their hands. Slowly, we made our way outside the hall, finding a spot to rest our tired legs. Numerous thoughts raced through my mind. Honestly, I wasn't actively seeking a relationship, as a series of events in my recent past had left me guarded, concealing my dreams and aspirations. I feared that if I opened my heart again, I would be vulnerable to the same pain. The void that ensnared me felt insurmountable. Even when I engaged in casual conversations with other women, the weight of my emotional baggage seemed too burdensome, causing me to let them go rather than burden them. Yet, in that very moment, I realized that I couldn't care less about that baggage.

Outside, the biting cold wind whipped around us, and I couldn't help but recall the countless times I had witnessed such scenes in movies—the classic move of offering her my jacket. Let me tell you, it proved to be a terrible idea; it was freezing. However, not a single ounce of regret crossed my mind. Almost effortlessly, our hands found each other's, and in that simple gesture, a profound connection formed. As we stood there, she confided in me, revealing that she, too, carried a weighty burden—the haunting remnants of past mistakes. Her words gripped my attention, for they echoed the thoughts I longed to share about my own missteps. I could truly empathize with her, and as a result, I refrained from imposing any pressure. We exchanged only our names, deliberately omitting addresses and phone numbers. "Perhaps it's best to leave things as they are and let fate decide," I suggested, and her radiant smile conveyed agreement. We made a pact not to delve deeper into each other's lives, trusting that if the universe intended for us to reunite, it would guide us back together.

A momentary silence settled over us, tinged with a hint of awkwardness. Just then, my friend, who had invited me to the party, finally located me and expressed his relief at finding me. I noticed that he and the beautiful lady were unfamiliar with each other, so I took the opportunity to introduce them. The enchanting lady, realizing it was time to depart, I offered to accompany her to her vehicle, she declined, stating, "No, if we leave it to the universe, you won't know my vehicle's number." With that, we bid our farewells, and she rode away. My curious friend inquired about the encounter, but I simply informed him that it was a long story.

After returning home, my thoughts were consumed by her. I even approached most of the people at the party, recounting every detail I could remember, yet nobody seemed to recognize her. All I had was limited information—her name, the color of her dress, and the knowledge that she rides. Would I ever cross paths with her again? What lay ahead in this unpredictable world? Determined to remain calm, I resolved to let the universe unfold its plans for me.


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Losing the Game

Dt. 4th March 2014

Whenever i updated my blog I kept telling myself “I’m awesome”. Coz I always am. Tee hee.. At least I think so. But being awesome doesnot mean I am winning evrything. Sometimes I lost, but even when i did, i lost with my head held up high. It’s not that it doesn’t hurt. It’s called ‘overcoming’.

You can sense that you are losing the game even though the game has just started, but sometimes you decided to keep on playing just for the sake of your opponent, so that they can perhaps have the time of their lives. But it’s hard to play along if you know you are losing it anyway. So sooner or later, you decided to quit and it hurts both the players.

Continue playing or quit it right away seems like the only options. But there’s always another one. The third option is to continue playing to win. Hoping for the wrong move of your opponent. ‘Hope’ is the only thing stronger than ‘Desperation’. Even a single mistake can effect the whole game. But you have to play it more carefully, and observe every single move of your opponent.

So, you continue playing hoping for the best, the result may not be as you hoped for, but it doesnot hurt you because you can tell yourself that you are not giving up without a fight, you tried your best and it was not good enough. So what, you can hold your head up high losing. And even your opponent can hold his/her head up. So, in the game I am playing, i decided to go for the third option and am damn proud of myself.
And just to be clear, I am talking about the game of Chess :).
Or Not.

Peace. 
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Where Have You Been???

Dt.28th Jan 2014


A strange feeling entered my mind lately for some reason. It's hard to explain, it's complicated and never saw it coming. I kinda hate this "feeling" but I don't want it to be over. I never thought I would have this kind of feeling but somehow it's true. There's nothing I can do to stop it, which I by the way tried so many times. 

This Overwhelming Enthusiastic Feeling, which I called OEF and sounded like 'OOF' is getting stronger and stronger and seems like there's no ending at all. I kept reminding myself that it's getting over soon. And never I let my guard down because I know that the Universe sure knows how to deal with people like me.

Alright, Alright, You may wonder and have no clue what am babbling about. haha.. Blame you not, coz the things I just said doesn't make any sense. Although it may make sense to someone.. But whatever, All I'm trying to say is that I met two new girls in my life, both are smart, intelligent and well respected. But they have completely different effect in my life.

One of them is like, a hungry lioness in her den waiting for it's prey who doesn't care anything about others and doesnot give a rat's ass about others but I somehow need her and feels at home in her presence. Never met her before but became a part of my life whether I like it or not. I never utter a word in her presence unless it's really necessary. My soul sometimes went like, " why are you here? I mean why? why? why?".

And the other one is completely the opposite. She's the best thing that ever happened in my life. My soul went like, "Where Have you Been?? I've been looking all over for You". Somehow she changes everything about me. (Now I hope the first two para kinda make a lil sense). I kept thinking of her...like .. all the time. Can't get her out of my mind. I don't care if it's gonna last for a week, a day or an hour, everything seems to be completed when I'm with her.

But in this complicated world, complications emerged out of nowhere. To be honest I don't even want to talk about it. I finally like a girl enough to be my wife and every thing's going backward. I hate the stupid society we live in, why are we making things so complicated.. Why can't we just live as one? I hate this denomination's feeling. I don't want to yell about it. It's just that, the denomination does not allow us to be with each other for the rest of our lives.

Any-who, I may never marry the girl that I really liked. I do not have any reason to be angry with God though. I know HE can make everything okay, maybe HE wanted to teach me something. I can't live without HIM even for a single sec. So I'm still glad that HE gave me this little moment of happiness. And yeah by the way I hope my Boss doesn't understand that I was talking about her as the first girl.. lol.
                                                                                                                                Peace
                                                                                                                                  Xauz






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Dating tips For girls


Girls, lemme tell you a lil secret about dating a guy.. as a guy myself I should never tell you these, but here are few which are at the tip of my  tongue.

1. Let him choose a place to go, but use a lil bit of manipulation and go to your choice anyway. For instance, "yeah that is a nice place, yeah, let's go there, but i just thought we are going to 'that' place.. but..but, it's fine, let's go there". We understand that 'It's fine' means 'Hell no, we are not going to that shitty place'.

2. Have a great sense of humor, or act like you have one. Laugh everytime when he makes some stupid jokes or comment. It doesn't matter if you get the jokes or not.

3. If, and only if there's any argument between you two, lemme be straight, 'silent treatment' is not a punishment girls. For guys, it's a relief. We are like, "Ohh.. Finally.. phew". Instead, ask him all the stupid questions, like, "I don't understand, why do they serve chicken but not pork", "i don't understand, why do they let us sit here, i want to sit there, you go and talk to the waitress, or talk to the manager" etc..

4. When you are in a restaurant or shopping mall or whatever, most of the men like it when girls pretending to take care of the bills.. It's not that we really want them to pay for it, no, not at all. I personally hate girls who doesn't even pretend to do that as much as i hate guys who let the girls pay. We are well aware of the fact that you don't really want to pay for it and just do some 'waving thing' with your hands pretending to search for money the moment you put your hands in your purse. But we like it.

These are all I can think of right now.. Let's just say "to be continued.. or not".

 
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