Beetle

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

Have you ever found yourself muttering, "Life's not fair"? I bet you have. It's a sentiment that has crossed all of our minds at least once. But the real question is, "Do you give up?" Hold on a minute, don't misunderstand me—I'm not here to discuss motivational topics. You know me, I'm not that kind of person, well, not that intellectually astute individual. I tend to sprinkle "LOL" into conversations, whether it's fitting or not. So, LOL.

Lately, life has thrown a lot at me. There have been countless moments where I've felt like throwing in the towel. Things haven't been running smoothly for quite some time now, and I've given up on many people. That's true—I'm the type of person who knows when to call it quits. I believe that recognizing when to quit is a smart approach to dealing with life's challenges. But don't get me wrong, I never give up without putting up a fight.

A couple of months ago, against the advice of loved ones who cautioned against it, I adopted a dog from someone. He's an incredibly lovable pet. I've grown so fond of him that despite the mistakes I've made as a pet owner, I want to keep him forever. I named him "Beetle."

I adore him, but unlike my previous pets, Beetle has many bad habits. I discovered that his previous owner never provided any kind of discipline. They simply let him do as he pleased. He refuses to eat in the morning and prefers sleeping during the day instead of at night. He makes noise throughout the night but snoozes away during the day. What a peculiar dog. When I take him for a walk, he leaves me stranded in a crowd and constantly worries me. I've tried teaching him, but he never seems to listen. I've given him everything he needs—food, a chewing bone, a special couch—everything I could think of that he might require. I've cared for him as if he were my own child. Wherever I go, I keep an eye out for things I think he'd enjoy. And I never hesitate to spend money on him.

However, I need to change all his bad behavior. I love him just the way he is, but that doesn't mean I should let him remain unchanged. His behavior could annoy people, and they might end up disliking him, and by extension, me. I've tried training him extensively. I've read books, watched YouTube videos, and read countless articles on how to train dogs. I've used every method I could gather. Many things have improved, so I haven't been a complete failure. But he continues to make the same mistakes again and again, despite my efforts. It's been almost three months, and I find myself dealing with the same issues repeatedly.

So, I think to myself, I love him, but if he continues to engage in behaviors like peeing under the bed or chewing my pillow, it will hurt me and make me angry as long as he's with me. This makes me feel like giving up on him. However, when I consider giving him up, I have no idea what the next owner might do to him given these unchangeable behaviors. They might end up causing him harm. Yet, the fact that he's shown even a slight amount of improvement gives me a glimmer of hope. Every morning, I wake up pondering whether I should give up or give it another shot. I've reached a point where I don't know when to quit because of my love for this dog.

So, there are moments when you might believe you're investing time in something that appears impossible. I'm not saying "don't give up," but rather, when hope seems fleeting, go for it even if you genuinely think you'll eventually surrender. The outcome may not always align with your initial hopes, but you can take solace in knowing that you made the effort. Ultimately, love is the only thing that truly matters.